My Interview with Dr. Brady

Buddy Tippet: I'm feeling a little bit ridiculous to be interviewing you like this, Doctor.

Dr. Brady: You'll get used to it. I've done nothing to you that you won't be able to recover from. Is the recorder working?

BT: Looks like it. Just so everyone understands, I was just brutally raped by the very bat that I'm interviewing. I'm actually fine, but the after effects are a bit distracting.

DB: That is the general idea, Buddy. You're going to be fine though. At the very least, I made no attempts to change your gender, as I remember you so falsely accused me of doing in your original blog of me.

BT: That was written before I actually knew much about you. I was also in another world at the time. Things were confusing.

DB: I understand.

BT: Before I ask you anything, I suppose I should inquire as to the nature of my recent disconnect from time.

DB: You've suffered a bit of brain trauma. It's possible it had something to do with your recent ejection from the place you call Railroad Towers. I was able to locate some damaged brain tissue within your hippocampus, which is what I expected.

BT: My last memory of Railroad Towers was like being chewed to bits.

DB: Yes, I read that in your blog. Admittedly, whatever did happen to you, you still seem to be whole. You are just having trouble coping with one moment in time to the next. The condition is called "dyschonometria." It's rare, but it is treatable with modern alchemic medicines. Unfortunately, this sort of work does not come cheap. It also requires regular treatments. How exactly are you experiencing time from your perspective?

BT: It feels like weeks are going by within the span of a single day. I know it isn't possible, but...

DB: Are you sure that it isn't a single day within several weeks?

BT: Please don't make me anymore confused than I am. Dear lord.

DB: [He chuckles.] Sorry, about that, Mr. Tippet. I'll need you to come in twice a week to receive your treatments. It will go away in time. No pun intended.

BT: I was gonna say.

DB: Was there anything you wanted to ask me for the interview?

BT: I can't help but admire how friendly and professional you are after what you just did to me a little while ago. It's like talking to a completely different person.

DB: It's called a bedside manner, isn't it?

BT: Is it? I don't know. How do you switch from one to the other so flawlessly?

DB: I'm both. I am both a pervert and your neighborhood friendly doctor. I take being a pervert as seriously as I desire to heal the sick and the wounded. I actually do want you to get better, Mister Tippet. Your blog is very popular in Scritch City. We'd be at a loss without it.

BT: That means a lot to me, Doctor. I do my best to present Scritch City as honestly as I can. I love living here. It's so free and amazing. And you, personally, are one of the most interesting people living here.

DB: I appreciate the kind words, Mr. Tippet.

BT: I noticed that you are also a member of the Railroad Club. Friends with Miss Silky?

DB: You may find that anyone of real note in Scritch City is a friend of Miss Silky, you included. You are not just some bystander in our city, Mr. Tippet. You are a very important person. Sometimes you don't seem like you realize this in your blogs.

BT: Can you elaborate?

DB: As you pointed out recently: Scritch City is politically hedonistic. We accept the elitist rule over our government because they give us what we want. Those who are in good standing with the elites are often considered elites themselves. Your friendship with Miss Silky places you above most of the citizens of Scritch City. She's given you free run of the place, and it is very clear to me as to why.

BT: Why?

DB: Because you are the closest thing we have to a journalist. Scritch City does not have a free press, nor do we really want one. You love this city, and you know how to show others who we really are in a fabulous light. I love your pleasant spin on things, Mr. Tippet. We all do. Miss Silky certainly does.

BT: So what you are saying is... If I hated Scritch City... or had a neutral opinion of it... I wouldn't have the job?

DB: Basically. What does a politically hedonistic city want with the truth anyhow? We're all here to have fun. No sense in having a downer as a journalist. People look up to you here, Mister Tippet. And personally, I am rather looking forward to that interview with Baphomet... if you ever find the time for it.

BT: Yes, I need to get on that. Anyways, before I go... empty myself in your bathroom... is there anything you want to say to belay the fears people may have in coming to see you for treatment?

DB: Two things. One: The nearest hospital is over 100 miles away from Scritch City. Consider that carefully if you find yourself in trouble. Two: I'm going to do what I want with you, and you're going to have to deal with that if you want your treatment. Just like any sexual encounter, there's a beginning and an ending. And the ending will leave you better off than when you came in. I'm going to take care of you by the end of it. Just keep that last bit in mind, and perhaps it will help you out some.

BT: Thank you, Dr. Brady.

DB: A pleasure. See you in two days.

*****

Dr. Brady was featured in my book b.t. The story is a much better representation of who he is rather than how I presented him in the original blog. Here is some information about how to purchase the book:

11.99 - Paperback Edition
5.99 - Kindle Edition


Click here to see the Amazon.com listing of all of my books.