I've Become Angry

The more I think about it, the more I feel as if I am a puppet of God... and that I am actually God. But for some reason God as God is a being of much troubles. He stumbles about, making terrible decisions. I feel like I am suffering from these problems through no fault of my own. Yet even as a puppet, I feel like the decisions are mine. I'm still me. I'm Buddy Tippet.

I feel like I have to fucking retaliate against... myself! This is so stupid. I know that seems like an extremely dumb thing to say, but I actually have a certain level of confidence that my actions can send feedback to my creator. I feel like he (God) is actually listening to me and able to actually consider my words more serious than if some other bloke created by him said something. I'm special.

I don't want his problems to be mine... and I just know that he is having some sort of multilayered problem. I already have to deal with Ixus. Although I think I may have nipped that in the bud... for now. More details on that later.

I am absolutely confident that my books are a real reality. They really exist, and I can travel into them. Club Lex is... a low priority. I like what's happening there. I want to go there but, something is drawing my attention away from it. It feels like... other beings are pulling me away from getting inside. I don't know who they are but it's really irritating me. Nevertheless... I need to focus on what I can.

There are two things that I have placed on the table:

1: I am considering transmogrifying permanently into Surly the goat. I... crave the affections of his new companion. I want her. I need the love right now. There are many moments I just want to fuck her. There's a lot of unspent lust.

2: I am considering communing with Jason. I found him once and I can likely find him again. I would like to bring him in here and talk things out. There was something special about him. There's more there than I am willing to mention on this blog at this time.

I'm seriously angry right now. I want relief. I want to break out into some other world and just indulge. I am a lustful God. And why shouldn't I be allowed in Club Lex? I'll find a way in there eventually... even if I have to beat my bloody hand through the glass.

For now, I am still promoting my new book Lust Bearers: The Search for Ixus. Here is some information on where to get yourself a copy:

12.99 - Paperback Edition
5.99 - Kindle Edition

Click here to see the Amazon.com listing of all of my books.

I Could Be God

My experiences in Scritch City led to some interesting questions about God. Personally I don't physically feel like a god or God. I suppose the capital God would better refer to a monotheistic personage. I do have friends. I interact with others. As an example, CB634 is a good friend of mine. I don't consider myself stronger or weaker than him in any way. He is an equal. Yet, it is starting to become fairly obvious that I am the god... of something.

I am, perhaps, a god in the sense that I create. I too exist within some sort of "in between" plane. Although my own understanding of it is very little. I was a human within Scritch City. It felt like me, but it also felt like I was merely controlling some sort of puppet. At times it felt like I was the puppet and some sort of divine hand was controlling me. I have a hunch that Miss Silky knew this, but she, like everyone else there, had a tendency to beat around the bush.

Even within this strange room that exists among a smokey hallway, I still feel like I am someone who is being controlled. It still feels like I have a lot of liberty of choice though. If I am merely the avatar of God, he is letting me making most of my choices. I choose the doors I want to open, and he puppets me to the door of my choosing.

And then there is the goat. I sometimes think I am a goat. Maybe I am. I think, however, that it is but an avatar. Another one. In this form, I am a bit short. A bit old. A bit grumpy. In fact, I have chosen the rather stereotypical name of Surly. The first time I found myself as this person, I had traveled inside my former book The Nom Nom Chronicles. But more recently, I have been interacting with the Lust Bearers in their book. I'm not just writing those books... I am interacting with it.

The thing is... there is a creature that I created called Ixus... and he is trying to get to me. If this happens, I will cease to exist. And if I cease to exist, all of my imaginings may also cease to exist.

You should know that I am trying to infuse myself with Surly on a very personal level. He's found someone. I'm attracted to her. But that is a story for another day.

For now, I want to continue to promote my newest publish: Lust Bearers: The Search for Ixus. Here is some information:

12.99 - Paperback Edition
5.99 - Kindle Edition

Click here to see the Amazon.com listing of all of my books.