"Starting in 'Vox Deus'," said Sixus softly.
"And continuing through the books, constantly fighting, constantly sacrificing my own people until I ended up a stupid rat who couldn't help himself."
"That's right," said Sixus softly.
"Because Surly... What was Surly?" Buddy groaned. "Surly was just some old guy from a story made to do the same. His very existence was made, not to defeat Ixus, but simply to push him aside. The truth is that I could have destroyed him anytime I wanted to. All I had to do was to write it... and explain why... and Ixus would be no more."
"But you didn't," cooed Sixus.
"Surly was too old for you," continued Buddy. "He may have been eternal, but he was still an old man. Me? I'm in my 40's. Kinda old, but not really that old. Still kind of young in a way. I don't mind exploring weird, kinky things like this. It's scary, but once you get into it... it's kind of relaxing... I mean... Other than all the things shoving into my butt. Although that kind of a sexy is a little uncomfortable."
"You're rambling, sweety."
"Oops. Right. Gotta stay on track."
"Mmhmm."
Buddy sighed and went on, "Somewhere in my subconscious, I knew having the Lust Bearers trap you in Zed was going to backfire on me. At first, there was some reservations I had about Dresden. I wasn't sure if he was more or less powerful than Ixus. But there was a little Voice in my head, a very convincing Voice that I have struggled with, that tends to sway me more than I'd like to admit. And it was enough to move the very fabric of my universe in a way that gave Dresden power over him. The only being strong enough to overpower and outwit an overpowered genius... and Ixus did not even know who he was.
"It was shocking even to me... but I took advantage of it... or rather Surly did. He forced you into Dresden's presence and then he was devoured. And yet, Ixus survived... as a slave... trapped inside a more powerful latex-based creature. And deep inside the heart of an old goat, Surly knew that it was only delaying the inevitable. Ixus was evil... but so was Dresden. And evil only begets evil."
"You beget a lot of evil, don't you, sweety?" asked Sixus.
"I do, for I am evil. But I also know what good is. And I would never be able to create evil if I had no idea what its opposite was. I had to know it. And in such a way, my heart comes from a place of good. I create evil and then imagine its opposite. Evil is a strange mirror that I can look into if I need to know what's what. It's the strange way I do things.
"But the downside is that the more evil I create, the darker and more twisted everything becomes... and I lose control. And sometimes I stop caring altogether. Tiny bursts of energy surge through me from time to time, but it's ultimately a backwards trend. And then there's my relationships. My wife. Charlie. My connection to the being called Nuke. One other Thing. My emotions are too easily manipulated by relationships.
"I fall in love with everyone. I obsess over friendship because of past friendships lost. I see them come and go, and then I suddenly saw two of them return as if magic. But those two miracles only strengthened the obsession, and I am not doing very much to protect myself. I'm just giving myself to everything that I love.
"At the end of the day, I don't feel like I am am really all that wise... or even smart. I think I am kind of a stupid rat." Buddy began to cry. "Just a stupid rat from the beginning to the end---unable to unlink myself from the momentary affections of other people---never truly independent.
"I deserve this fate, Sixus. I mean, I wouldn't have kept you alive for so long if I didn't love you too. Heck, I even changed you into a bunny so that I could finally be with you. I've had enough of foxes anyhow. I don't think I could handle the harsh reality of the fox-mind today... or whenever-it-is. I'm just hurting so much right now...and for that reason... I needed a bunny."
Sixus then said, "I think Dresden suspected that."
Buddy nodded from inside the latex rabbit. "Dresden is actually pretty wise for an evil guy. I've seen him do things that were so bad that I can't even write about it. It's so bad that it even makes me feel real gross. But Dresden is a creature of wisdom bathed in power. Maybe too much power. But at the very least he is happy where he is. I don't think he would ever want to leave Zed. It may not look like it, but he actually has a lot going there."
"You're not crying anymore," observed Sixus.
"Um... Yeah. I actually feel better. I really like you as a bunny. You're still scary, but you really aren't that bad. Are you ever going to let me go?"
"You sound like you don't mind me all that much."
"Maybe I'll stay for a little longer... but Sixus... I do have a wife, and I think she's... being like... gangbanged by other rats and stuff. At some point, I gotta step in and help her. There's other things too. As stupid as I am... I have responsibilities. I'm a rat now, and I want to be a rat. But maybe like another hour or so. Okay?"
"Okay, Buddy," said Sixus. "And then what happens to me?"
"You're free to go. Thanks for what you did. The hard part's over I guess. Is there anywhere you want to go?"
"Yes. I would like a room within the Black Smoke Hallway."
"Granted," said Buddy. "Also that's a good choice. You can intervene in some places from there if you like. But for now... just more cuddling please."
"As you wish, sweet rat," replied the latex bunny.